When I was still a Grade 5 pupil, we had a substitute teacher in religion class for a few days because our assigned teacher was sick at the time.
During our recitation, she asked us, “Who were the first man and woman created by God?” Many of us raised our hands and answered, “Adam and Eve,” but she said no. After a few “wrong answers” from my classmates, she said, “I want the answer from the top pupil in this class.”
At that grading period, I was the top pupil, so she asked me. I confidently answered, “Adam and Eve.”
And she said, “No.”
She never told us the answer afterward. We never saw that substitute teacher again.
I was so bothered by why my answer was wrong. Every religion book I had read since Grade 1 taught us that the first man and woman were Adam and Eve.
Years later, when I was already an adult, I discovered the story of Lilith.
According to the legend, God created Lilith from the same dust of the earth as Adam, making them equals. Perhaps, when the Bible was edited and compiled, this tiny detail was never completely erased. There is a passage in Genesis 1:27 that says:
“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
Then, in Genesis 2:21–22, Eve is created later. God causes Adam to fall into a deep sleep, takes one of his ribs, creates the woman from it, and brings her to him.
Lilith, however, was largely erased from the biblical narrative, leaving behind only interpretations and traces that some people connect to that earlier creation of “male and female.”
According to some Jewish texts and later traditions, God created Adam and Lilith at the same time, making her Adam’s original wife. But Lilith refused to submit to Adam because she believed they were equals. During their sexual relationship, she refused to lie beneath him, arguing that they were created from the same earth and therefore had equal standing.
As an act of rebellion, she fled from the Garden of Eden and eventually became associated with a cave inhabited by demons. Over time, she transformed in folklore into a seductress of the night and the mother of demons.
Because God saw that Adam was deeply saddened by his loneliness, He created Eve from Adam’s rib.
The story of Eve’s creation has often been interpreted as a symbol of woman’s submission to man. And, in many ways, that idea has shaped how women have been expected to exist for a very long time.
Even though Lilith is not part of mainstream religious teaching in the same way as Adam and Eve, her symbolism is powerful.
In astrology, Lilith represents the dark feminine. Our Lilith sign is often interpreted as showing our personal style of defiance, shadow work, and unpolished truth—or, in simpler terms, our inner bitch.
Lilith has also become a feminist icon. She became particularly prominent as a feminist symbol during the second-wave feminist movement of the late 1960s and 1970s. Her defiance of subjugation became an archetypal blueprint for modern rebellion against gender norms.
I have given a lot of thought to her story and to the way modern women behave.
After such a long period of submission to men, modern women seem to be acting more and more like Lilith: valuing independence over submission, choosing to be alone rather than remaining in relationships that compromise their individuality and personal essence.
And I thought to myself: no matter how much they tried to hide her story from the world, her essence was too powerful to disappear completely.
It simply remained in the shadows until the right time came.
I am a woman. However, for many years, I did not agree with the feminist movement. I even believed that feminism had greatly contributed to the destruction of society.
I used to think, why not simply accept the traditional role of being a woman?
If not for feminism, perhaps women today would still be staying at home, taking care of their husbands and children, planting a garden, and cooking a lovely meal. In short, they could simply be soft, caring, and supportive—and there is no shame in that.
Oh, it would have been a perfect life for me.
Why do we need to prove that we can do what men can do?
Why does society encourage women to pursue careers, when children can sometimes be left unattended and develop so much childhood trauma?
Why are women taught to be tough when being tough does not always feel like our natural disposition?
However, after spending enough time interacting with men, I began to understand.
Women need feminism—not necessarily because they want it, but because they need it.
It is, in many ways, a form of self-protection.
I remember the time I tried using a dating app. After a few messages with a man whose name I can no longer remember, he openly told me that he needed to go out, get drunk, and pleasure a woman with his “huge package.”
I simply replied, “Enjoy. Don’t forget protection.”
A few hours later, I asked him whether the women he slept with knew that he only wanted pleasure and nothing more.
He told me, “Yes, and some would still come back because they miss my thing.”
Then he said something that really bothered me.
“I don’t do it with all women. I only go out with highly intelligent women with class.”
Then he asked for my number.
I refused to give it to him.
I was deeply bothered by that statement.
Why specifically pursue women who have worked hard on themselves? Why seek out intelligent, accomplished women if the only intention is to use them for temporary pleasure?
To me, that felt predatory.
If it is only about pleasure, then why pretend that there is something more meaningful about the women being chosen?
And I also wondered why some women fall into these situations.
Then I met another man—a misogynist.
His profile said that he wanted a “traditional setup,” and because he did not look bad, I swiped right.
After three video calls with him, I wanted to run.
He explained that he wanted a woman whose role was to cook, maintain the house, and care for the family—and nothing more.
As in, nothing more.
No social community outside the family. No outside hobbies. No opinions on politics or other matters. Just cook, clean, and take care of the children.
Any woman who willingly accepts that kind of life without having the freedom to choose for herself is like a bird willingly stepping into a cage.
Now I get it.
And I wanted to apologize to the women of the past for once believing that feminism served only women’s interests and emasculated men.
For thousands of years, perhaps the submissive essence of Eve ruled women’s minds while Lilith’s essence remained hidden in the shadows.
And now that it has emerged, women are gradually claiming more space in the world.
Lilith’s power can no longer be contained.
For thousands of years, the world fed on a woman’s softness.
Now, she demands to be seen as an individual, too—as an equal.
Our Lilith essence forces us to rebel.
Because we were not always treated right.
Because many men, who were commanded by God to care for and protect women, failed in that duty and abused the power they were given.
So I don’t know…
Perhaps both sexes in today’s world are victims of a long series of historical events.
It is a domino effect of causes and consequences.
Too much has happened.
Too much has hurt.
And so much of it has been embedded in our collective psyche.
Our actions today—both men’s and women’s—are shaped, at least in part, by the wounds and patterns inherited from generations before us. Even science has begun exploring how trauma and stress can influence biological processes across generations, although the idea of trauma being directly “passed down” through epigenetic tags is more complicated than it is often presented.
Perhaps what the world needs now is to uncondition and unbecome.
To question what we have been taught.
To let go of the identities and roles that were imposed upon us.
To confront our unseen shadows and hidden trauma.
But, just like what happened to Lilith, dealing with our shadows means confronting our own demons.
And perhaps the world is not ready for that yet..
–G.A.