In today’s world of advanced science and heightened intelligence, people often view sex as a biological need driven by fluctuating hormones. It doesn’t always equate to love—and that’s true. Wanting to be intimate with someone doesn’t necessarily mean you have deeper feelings for them. And with the rise of various contraceptives, avoiding pregnancy has become relatively easy and reliable.
But why is sex considered sacred?
Our ancestors often told us to only engage in intimacy after marriage. And when we asked why, the common answer was, “Sumunod ka na lang.” That kind of reasoning doesn’t sit well with our logical minds today.
Let me begin by explaining this from the perspective of energy. Every time we interact with people, there is an exchange of energies. Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with someone—you either feel uplifted or drained. When someone unloads their trauma onto you, you absorb their negative energy. On the other hand, when someone is optimistic or makes you laugh, they pass on positive energy.
This exchange of energy happens everywhere—through hugs, handshakes, even online conversations. Among all of these, the highest form of energy exchange happens during sex.
During sex, who you are at that moment is energetically shared with your partner, and who they are is shared with you. If you’re feeling loved and joyful, you share that love. But if you’re carrying sadness, depression, or unresolved trauma, you also pass that energy on.
Now imagine meeting someone and choosing not to hold back—you become intimate with them. Let’s say that person is deeply depressed. Through that encounter, their emotional and energetic state becomes entangled with yours. That sadness may cling to you, and it won’t just disappear after a day or a week. Sometimes it takes serious purification—through meditation, prayer, or spiritual practices aligned with your faith—to cleanse it. And even then, it doesn’t always leave right away. It depends.
Now imagine this: after that sexual interaction, you don’t do any purification. Two years later, you meet the love of your life. You feel this is the right person, and you share that sacred space again. But the lingering sadness from your previous partner is still with you—and now it’s passed on to someone you deeply care about. Worse, if you decide to create a child with this person, that same energy may be passed down to your children.
These people—your beloved and your future children—those you would protect at all costs, are now unknowingly carrying something that never belonged to them in the first place. And it came from you. You didn’t protect them—you may have energetically harmed them.
Fast forward 40 years. You’re no longer on this Earth, but your children are. Every day, they struggle with unexplained sadness and trauma. They wonder why, despite living good lives, they suffer. Sometimes, it’s not their own doing. While most of the time we create our own karma, there are times we’re simply healing ancestral karma—energies passed down by our forebears through acts like unguarded sexual encounters.
So just imagine: for a few fleeting minutes of gratification, you may have energetically polluted your entire lineage.
Look around at what’s happening today. People are more prone to depression than ever before. Older generations, despite their hardships, had stronger inhibitions when it came to sex outside of marriage. Coincidence? Perhaps.
Or maybe—it’s something more.
Why Only Do it after Marriage?
Before the rise of organized religions, people did not have wedding ceremonies. And I guess they weren’t committing a sin for engaging in sex without the blessing of God/Allah/Yeshua. In my humble opinion, the real wedding rite happens at the matrimonial bed—when two bodies and spirits become one.
Sex, therefore, is a marriage rite. There is already a sense of accountability between both people involved. It doesn’t matter how many times a day you do it—what matters is that you carry each other’s energy for the rest of your lives. If you give off negative energy, you will have to deal with that same negativity in your relationship.
But ideally, we should take the time to cleanse our own energy, and that benefits both of you.
This is also why people need to practice self-love before committing to another person. When you take the time to ‘heal’ yourself, you’re purifying your own energy. In doing so, ancestral karma can end with you—and you won’t pass it on to your children. You are healing your own wounds so that, when the right time comes, the energy you share with someone else will be positive. That positive energy won’t just affect your partner—it will bless your children, too.
Some people say that our energy is our currency—and I believe that to be true. A positive, trauma-free, wholesome energy is the best gift we can give to our spouse and children. Sure, money and material wealth are important—but they’re not the most important.
Speaking of that, there’s a biblical saying that goes, “A prayerful wife benefits her husband and the entire household.”Prayer is a form of purification. When a wife prays regularly, her husband—who is intimately connected with her—receives that energy. That positive energy can bring success in his career, and overall abundance in the home.
So yes—behind a successful man is a prayerful woman. And this can apply to any form of purification, depending on one’s belief system or religion.
A Final Thought…
I don’t want to come off as dogmatic or old-fashioned. This point of view has been shaped by my own spiritual journey and personal experiences.
Spiritual purity is not limited to the physical. One can be “re-virginized” through meditation or spiritual cleansing—but it takes work, deep reflection, and commitment.
There’s a growing feminist perspective online that a woman’s high body count should not affect her value. And I agree—it shouldn’t… provided she meditates, reflects, and heals. Because energy is real. What we carry within us affects not just ourselves, but those closest to us.
If I may add again—this is also why the pain of infidelity runs so deep. Love is unconditional. We do not own our spouses, or even our children. But why does it hurt so much when a spouse cheats?
Because—if I may humbly suggest—it’s your instincts trying to protect you and your children from polluted energy.
That’s why the husband is considered the foundation of the home. A disciplined husband, someone who can resist temptation, provides a stable and safe space for his family. But when a husband gives in and sleeps with another woman, the energetic foundation of the entire home collapses.
I don’t know how to end this article properly, but here’s what I’ll say:
People make mistakes—myself included. If you choose to remain single for life, you won’t pass on ancestral karma. This is one reason why priests and monks choose celibacy.
If you desire to build a family one day, then you must also recognize that your actions affect the very people you claim to love. And when you understand that, you have to take responsibility.
Because to say you love your family, yet continue to harm them—that, to me, is the real hypocrisy.
–G.A.